Love

It is in the moment of stillness and silence that the voice of God speaks so clearly.

It is in that silence, in the moment where Jesus writes in the dust. The stunned crowd are silences, are brought to their knees because before them is the true law of God, embodied in His very incarnate being. A law that declares love primary.

Love because love is the very being of God, God IS love, and therefore to love is to reflect God and to love God is to live in relation with Him, in a unity that mirrors the Trinity itself. We can never really reflect the love of God in it's entirety, because regardless of the honour we are given by being made in the image of God, we are not God, therefore in every moment we must be striven to find that true love, to be that true love, because it is the least we can do.

If we really do love God, then that is overflowed to love every person on this earth, because as we are honoured, so they are also. How can we hold back? How can be not live in that place that is love? God's loved stretched so far that He was incarnate, He died and suffered a mortal death, and decended into the deepths of Hell - that place that holds are, that binds us, that place that he broke, broke through and conquered, for us... those who fall so short of His presence, so short of His promise - and He did it for love, for love of us.

So we are, by that awesomeness, we are charged to live in that place of love. What does that mean? It means that when we walk down the street and walk past the beggar sat there without thinking, without stopping to share a conversation, by judging them, we are ignoring that call to love. When we return home and complain of the rain or the cold, complain that we don't have enough sugar to put in our tea (I don't drink sugar in tea, but you get my drift), that we don't have enough food and are still hungry after eating a meal, that there isn't pudding or some such. We are throwing in God's face the love, the provision, the saving act of the resurrection, we are throwing that all in God's face and saying that it doesn't matter, that it doesn't matter that we are loved.

How dare we?

So the hecticness of life is something temporal, something changing. Though the busy time that surrounded my birthday weekend has shifted into reading and studying and finding time for devotion.

On Saturday I was walking into the city to go and sit in Starbucks and do some reading - old habits die hard! The healing on the streets team was out, and I stopped to chat to them, I'm studying Spirituality, Health and Healing and it's interesting to see some of the principles we're discussing put into action. So after a bit of a chat with one of the guys there a woman came over, she asked me if I wanted prayer/healing for anything, and after rebuffing the enitial suggestion, I kind of just went - yes, why not. People have been praying for me to be healed for a year with regard to my allergies, and I've been trusting God to do something, expecting that at some point He will let me live in freedom and without fear of being in a room with things that have almost killed me. Well as they were praying I felt this release, I breathed in the cold air and just felt this freedom.

So that I night, not knowing what God had done in that moment, but knowing He'd done something I was at my friend birthday party, in a room surrounded by pizza and still breathing, and well, and so, I just felt like seeing how far this had gone. I looked over at this slice of pizza and just kind of went... I want to try this, after a while and grabbing my med bag I did, I ate a bite of pizza and... I was fine... I waited an hour or so and I was still fine... I didn't react, my two strongest allergies, things that have landed me in hospital on numerous occasions and... I was fine. So I ate more... and discovered that that day, God had healed my allergies.

God HEALED my allergies... a bit like the moment my depression left I just felt so free. Like singing and shouting and glorifying God. Which I have been doing, because really... how can I hold back my praise from a God who is SO merciful, so gracious as to give me this freedom, to heal me, to give me back food, food which I love, which I know the true value of!

I'm going to write up everything at some point, write up how amazing things have been, but right now I must return to my reading, return to learning more about God, about disability, about pastoral care and the theological response.

All I can really say, God is SO good! I love Him with all of my being, and that... that will never end.