All the strain and stress passing from my shoulders as a massive wave hits me, a wave that is the love of God, a wave that I've seen coming, of joy and peace, peace and joy, joy and peace, those words spoken over me trice from many corners of this world. For over a month there has been sadness and sorrow and grief so close my heart that I thought it would never fade, and now it is washed away. The power of the love of God invades my heart, break through those chains of sorrow.
My saviour reminded me of who I was, images flashed across my view, images from visions that God has shown me, the dancer, the child strewing rose petals, the holder of a dove, the scribe. Images so powerful, and this power like wings beating above me. "Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by name; thou art mine." Words of scripture in my ears - "you are under the shadow of the wings of the almighty, you dwell here."
As the sun broke through my curtains this morning I felt the warmth and cold of the day all at once. I could not help but dance this morning. As I walked across campus this afternoon I could hardly help but sing. I am suddenly at a place of peace, an invading peace, that dwells so deep within my heart it cannot be taken, only hidden, and so I choose not to hide it.
No longer to fear the death march that comes and is not yet mine. I would not fear my own death for a second, to be with God that I could never fear, but the lives of others lost has been a fear that has no left me, until now. No, that fear is past, I have no power of life and death, I have seen lives saved when my hand guided, but it was not I that did the saving, if life is lost, it was not I that lost it, no, that is not mine.
