There was something beautiful about starting this computer up again. It's been over five weeks since I shut it down, and it really felt like part of my life had been taken away. I don't think materialism is a good thing, I don't agree with it, I feel like we should be as detached as possible from our possessions, but this computer means more me, maybe than it should. It's my contact with the world, it's the music that inspires me to write, it's the keys that I can type 100wpm on because I'm so used to them. It's access to my blogs - both those I read and write, and often it's the ones I read that I miss more! It's what I use when I'm feel like I'm falling down and out, in the dark moments there are articles and music that just remind me of my identity, the truth of Christ in me. My computer is what allows me to express who I am entirely harmlessly, without consequence to anyone else, without limit, I can sit and write what I will, I can sit here and scream words onto a page and delete it straight away. It's my computer that allows me to have journals at the touch of a fingertip whilst I'm writing that ever vital essay, that allows me to format everything the way I like without question. Where I turn spaces on and off at will, where my dashboard has the times from Anchorage to Sydney, where I can tweet prayers and be praying, where I can know the weather, sunset and sunrise every day. It is on this computer that every key does exactly what I tell it to do. Where I can type in Greek or English, where the key commands are whatever I set them to.
So without that for five weeks I had to reassess... everything. I had to remember how to adapt to other computers rather than making computers adapt to me. I had to live my life in a way where I couldn't just get up and know what I need to know, I had to go and find the information. Where I had to fight through the migraines that came after time spent with those harsh computer screens. Maybe I was spoilt growing up with an SE/30 in the house. Maybe I take for granted that I live in the 'iPod generation' - at which point I'd like to note that I had an iPod before they were safe to carry around, October 2003, which had to be ordered from the US, my 15th birthday present, where I squealed at the sight of the Apple Logo as I opened it, back when OSX was new, something I'd not expected in my wildest dreams, and now... now the world has them.
There is a lot to do now, much to be done, and I must get on with some reading!!
