So much has changed in my life recently I'm starting to feel a bit lost. I gave up writing depressing self-indulgent blog posts three years ago except for moments of desperate need, this might be one, but also I just need to process and to write something and keep it hidden away in a diary feels like keeping something precious, writing it and burning it feels to radical, but writing something and letting it exist away from you, but be there, that's, somehow that's more comforting, more encouraging so if you're reading this and don't want to read something indulgently self-reflective then move on to something new, if not: welcome to my headspace.