Indeed, it is time for a change my darling. Look around you, see how bright the day is, the day which you shut out like Haig... You are NOT Miss Haversham! He never meant that as a compliment, so do not for a second take THAT as a compliment. 

Dreams like last night... should not be in your mind. I crawled inside my wardrobe to hide from the world this morning, I needed to be completely surrounded. I read something that I shouldn't have last night. Part of me wants to face it, face what they did, what they said, but I can't, it's too painful. I suppose the contradictions just ring in my head, and its as if... he suggested that I change who I am to fit in, he didn't know that I'd done that, I'd done that over and again and again! And it made things worse so I gave up... because it was worse. It was worse to compromise, to change who I was, I miss who I used to be, I miss the original ME. The girl that spoke with a proper voice, who had surety, who had people around her who loved her like TJ. Then TJ left, and I suppose I gave up. Because I couldn't be strong without him, it didn't matter how the rest of them treated me, because he was there...

It does not matter anylonger, for the first time in my life, I'm surrounded by people who accept me for who I am. I had dreamt of this day, a far off dream, the imagining of a broken girl. Now I struggle, when the present is pain it is easier to get through in hope of the future, when the present is that hope, it seems easier to dwell in the past. Though regardless of this, I'm getting there, I'm making progress, and God is working in me. That is amazing. I just copied a list of bible verses from a website, I'm going to go through them, and remind myself of what God sees when he looks at me, because to Him, my clothes, my voice...none of it matters, He sees me.